-- -- | Some quote text -- module Plugin.Quote.Text where -- | Some funny palomer-isms palomer :: [String] palomer = ["Blargh!" ,"Hrmph" ,"They're telling you lies!" ,"Scalliwags!" ,"Pfft" ,"Pfft, my type inference algorithm takes hours on a 2 line program" ,"Hrmph, looks like I killed the channel" ,"As someone who's studied GADTs, I've never found a use for them." ,"Category theory is the Paris Hilton of mathematics" ,"That's nuts!" ,"Brump!" ,"I think you're all nuts" ,"That's a lie" ,"Learning vim is pointless" ,"I think vim is good for the rubbish bin" ,"xml stands for \"xtremely mild lullaby\"" ,"woof" ,"(_|_)" ,"I have news for you, it's pointless" ,"You're all nuts" ] -- | Some pirate quotes arrList :: [String] arrList = ["Avast!" ,"Shiver me timbers!" ,"Yeh scurvy dog..." ,"I'll keel haul ya fer that!" ,"I want me grog!" ,"Drink up, me 'earties" ,"Smartly me lass" ,"Arrr!" ,"Ahoy mateys" ,"Aye" ,"Aye Aye Cap'n" ,"Swab the deck!" ,"Keelhaul the swabs!" ,"Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum!" ,"I'll crush ye barnacles!" ,"Har de har har!" ] -- | More pirate quotes yarrList :: [String] yarrList = arrList ++ ["I heard andersca is a pirate" ,"I'd like to drop me anchor in her lagoon" ,"Well me 'earties, let's see what crawled out of the bung hole..." ,"Is that a hornpipe in yer pocket, or arr ya just happy ta see me?" ,"Get out o' me way, yeh landlubber" ,"Yarrr!" ,"This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!" ,"May the clap make ye incapable of Cracking Jenny's Tea Cup." ,"Eat maggoty hardtack, ye unkempt, jenny frequentin', son of a gun." ,"What be a priate's favourite cheese?\nYarrlsburg!" ,"Where d' all t' pirates come from?\nGreat Yarrmouth!" ,"Prepare to be boarded!" ,"Gangway!" ,"Splice the Mainbrace!" ,"Arr! Me ship be the biggest brig in the port!" ,"Well Ahoy! thar." ] -- -- Stewie Griffin is great -- stewieList :: [String] stewieList = ["You. Fetch me my copy of the Wall Street Journal. You two, fight to the death." ,"Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that" ,"I've got a better idea. Let's go play \"swallow the stuff under the sink.\"" ,"I've got an army to raise and I must get to Nicaragua. I require a window seat and an in-flight Happy Meal AND NO PICKLES. OH, GOD HELP YOU IF I FIND PICKLES" ,"Damn you, vile woman! Blast! What the deuce!" ,"Forecast for tomorrow; A few sprinkles of genius with a chance of doom." ] -- -- Actual quotes from an asshat called Keal over Jan 12-14 2006. -- -- Reappared as OrangeKid, -- 06.10.18:19:44:00 --- join: OrangeKid -- (n=TRK@unaffiliated/Keal) joined #haskell -- kealList :: [String] kealList = ["endian mirrors the decimal" ,"primary elemental assumption of integer coefficients to roots in counting sytem is wrong" ,"actually it bug in math" ,"b*(Floor[v/b^p]/b-Floor[Floor[v/b^p]/b])" ,"proofs are no longer sound" ,"my proof show math is broken right now" ,"doctor just give meds not fix prollem" ,"Keal was so happy with T, coded in basic so run on anything, and does lot" ,"one prollem. T broke confines of the visual basic langage and would not compile" ,"perhaps i just genius and never tested" ,"and yes that was with zero formal training in all realms" ,"somone would expect that trees 500gb hdds of expressions as if they were floppy dicks" ,"can you make a macro that builds the expression accoridng to a genetic algorithm where you decide what is good and what is bad?" ,"T could perform expressions 600mb and bigger" ,"what is the max amount of operands haskell can handle in a single expression?" ,"T seems to be haskell, except with a decent interface at this point" ,"love a black and white lower 128 from 32 up of ascii glyphs?" ,"evaluating expressions is ALL haskell does?????" ,"you think i am one of them persnipity uppity men are pig lesbian mathematicians?" ,"how bout i say ick no unicorn and daisy loving girl mathematician will ever enjoy this" ,"better be atleast 16x16 color with extended ascii set" ,"what the hell does Prelude > mean?" ,"how do i search for someone saying 'Keal' in mirc" ,"i have basically written a proof that shows an assumption is wrong" ,"they dumbified you" ,"antiparsimony were 100% correct..." ,"its because the timeline diverges and past events themselves unhappen" ,"all i know is i have experienced my own death unhappening..." ," what have you been smoking? you narrow minded Haskell user?" ,"i use an 8088" ,"are there full body recognition files for sorting art?" ,"my very first computer was an 80-0840" ,"it is very easy to go off topic" ,"someone needs to write a boids for haskell that emulates humans going on and off topic" ,"i just got banned from math because i not have good ability to convey thoughts" ,"i lack in verbal and social expression" ,"i try make program called Glyph to do it but my script lang called T too slow. i invent T" ,"can GMP support KealDigit? I invent KealDigit" ,"with KealDigit quantum crackproof encryption possible" ,"i show how spell triangle in less than three corners using darkmanifold" ,"can haskell pipe the raw irrational megaequation into an analog device" ,"the fractal is 5 irrationals" ,"99% of my book has been erased by faulty hdd's" ,"last day i was in my lab i had a diagram which might have removed pi" ,"i only trust opensource tools. where can i download haskell for windows?" ,"obviously you never heard of Tier. theoretically it would work using nanobots" ,"you need a Zh function in Haskell" ,"can haskell compile flash animations and java apps?" ,"i need math friendly compiler to compile for jvm or flash" ,"Cale etc already pointed out Haskell is puny to nothing to emulate using my barrage of mathematic theories" ,"i prove infinity never ends in both directions" ,"are you saying i am MegaMonad?" ,"Keal angry @ dons" ,"i can explain why something is without knowing what the rules decided by man are" ,"making a bot of me is highly offensive" ,"just seeing how offtopic i could get everyone" ,"intuitive != imperative" ,"doubles and floats cause b*(Floor[v/b^p]/b-Floor[Floor[v/b^p]/b) to fuck up" ,"what are epsilons?" ,"haskell always said undefined" ,"bot seems useless" ,"when i put what i dat recoved from that tile into a ti92. the damn thing blew up" ,"i think it because mathematics damage you cpu" ,"ithink has to do with hardcased government failsafe in chip" ,"i suggest you tear apart a 20q and plug it with the alg" ,"nsa has all the profiling info you need to come up with the correct survey answers" ,"write an algorthim that generates the correct responses for a phone survey based on number of rings whether answered how quickly hung up on and the mood of the receiver" ,"where can i find opensource schematics of Linus Torvalds' x86 clone?" ,"need to plan a fieldtrip to Frederick B. Mancoff of Freescale Semiconductor" ,"ghc need to have plugin that allow copy paste in xp" ,"know you know this 24 periods Keal SecretTM" ,"tomorrow i share next mathematical secrety" ,"nsa prevent me from returning to math on efnet" ,"nsa try kill me numerous times" ,"#haskell needs to take its meds" ,"i think i know what code does but code looks to simple to actually do it" ,"need 1 to do a while 0 does !a. need 1 to do a while 0 does !a" ,"will it return [] if map gives fpu infinite list?" ,"today's 24hour project was supposed to be logical overloading using plegm method" ,"there is no way to prove the failsafe exists" ,"oh btw my fpu is blown due to a hardcased failsafe i have 3 year warranty right. and then they call fads" ,"i aint running that on my puter" ,"lamadabot took 5 to 8 whole seconds to return []" ,"bot defective" ,"i changed my user od" ,"i cant think anymore" ,"i want to invent white dye" ,"pork steaks taste like dick" ,"i dont really eat vegetables unless cheese is a vegetable" ,"the [nsa] even make light green both ways once" ,"i still dont understand how gci is supposed to do anything other than mathematics" ] -- -- Quotes from the lyrics of B52s songs. They remind me (dons) of zippy. -- b52s :: [String] b52s = [ "His ear lobe fell in the deep. Someone reached in and grabbed it. It was a rock lobster!" , "Watch out for that piranha. There goes a narwhale. HERE COMES A BIKINI WHALE!" , "She drove a Plymouth Satellite faster than the speed of light!" , "Some say she's from Mars, or one of the seven stars that shine after 3:30 in the morning. WELL SHE ISN'T." , "It's a dreary downtown day, but at the end of my 40 foot leash is my little friend quiche." , "Girl from Ipanema, she goes to Greenland" , "Hot pants explosion at the factory!" , "You belong in Ripley's Believe It Or Not" ] -- -- Quotes from the pinky and the brain cartoon -- brain :: [String] brain = [("Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?\n" ++ "The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!") , "Narf!" , "Zort!" , "Poit!" , "Troz!" , "It must be inordinately taxing to be such a boob." , "Promise me something, Pinky. Never breed." , "Pinky, I am in considerable pain." , "Here we are, Pinky--at the dawn of time!" ,("Now, Pinky, if by any chance you are captured during this mission, \n" ++ "remember you are Gunther Heindriksen from Appenzell. You moved to Grindelwald\n" ++ "to drive the cog train to Murren. Can you repeat that?") ,("Brain! Brain! You aren't going to leave me!!!???" ++ "You know what happened to Jerry Lewis after Dean Martin left him!!!") , "They've turned into giant Swiss leaderhosen-clad dancing yodelers. Talk about unpredictable!" , "Be quiet Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you." , "If I could reach you I would hurt you." ,("What can I do for fun, Pinky? That's it! I'll send several\n" ++ "bills to Senate for ratification, then veto them all!") , "There's only one ride that interests me - the incredible thrill ride of taking over the world!" ,("It is here that my cheap workforce of trained iguanas will work\n" ++ "night and day to make our shoes to my exacting specifications!") ,("Has it ever occurred to you, Pinklet, that your scarf is\n" ++ "constricting the bloodflow to your head?") , "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" ] ++ brainPondering brainPondering :: [String] brainPondering = [ "But where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?" , "But where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?" , "Uh... yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?" , "Uh, I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career ... ooh, it's all too much for me." , "Wuh, I think so, Brain, but isn't Regis Philbin already married?" , "Wuh, I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so." , "Uh, I think so, Brain, but we'll never get a monkey to use dental floss." , "Uh, I think so Brain, but this time, you wear the tutu." , "I think so, Brain, but culottes have a tendency to ride up so." , "I think so, Brain, but if they called them 'Sad Meals', kids wouldn't buy them!" , "I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking -- I mean, what would the children look like?" , "Well, I think so, Brain, but I can't memorize a whole opera in Yiddish." , "I think so, Brain, but there's still a bug stuck in here from last time." , "Uh, I think so, Brain, but I get all clammy inside the tent." , "I think so, Brain, but I don't think Kaye Ballard's in the union." , "I think so, Brain, but, the Rockettes? I mean, it's mostly girls, isn't it?" , "I think so, Brain, but pants with horizontal stripes make me look chubby." , "Well, I think so, Brain, but pantyhose are so uncomfortable in the summertime." , "Well, I think so, Brain, but it's a miracle that this one grew back." , "Well, I think so, Brain, but first you'd have to take that whole bridge apart, wouldn't you?" , "Well, I think so, Brain, but 'apply North Pole' to what?" , "Umm, I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won't wear the nylons?" , "I think so, Brain, but isn't that why they invented tube socks?" , "Well, I think so Brain, but what if we stick to the seat covers?" , "Oooh, I think so Brain, but I think I'd rather eat the Macarena." , "Well, I think so, but Kevin Costner with an English accent?" , "I think so, Brain, but don't you need a swimming pool to play Marco Polo?" , "Well, I think so, Brain, but do I really need two tongues?" , "I think so, Brain, but we're already naked." , "I think so, Brain, but Lederhosen won't stretch that far." , "Yeah, but I thought Madonna already had a steady bloke!" , "I think so, Brain, but how would we ever determine Sandra Bullock's shoe size?" , "I think so, Brain, but a codpiece made from a real fish would get smelly after a while, wouldn?t it?" , "I think so, Commander Brain from Outer Space! But do we have time to grease the rockets?" , "I think so, Doctor. But are these really the legs of a show girl?" , "Whuu... I think so, BrainPan! But if running shoes had little feet, wouldn't they need their own shoes?" , "I think so, Brain! But ruby-studded stockings would be mighty uncomfortable wouldn't they?" , "I think so, Brain! How much deeper would the ocean be if there weren't sponges down there?" , "I think so, Brain! But do I have what it take to be the 'Lord of the Dance'?" , "I think so, Brain, but I didn't know 90210 was a real zip code! Will Tori be there?" , "The game does not conclude until the woman with the eating disorder ululates." ] -- -- Girl 19, Apr 11, 2006 -- girl19 :: [[Char]] girl19 = ["is this a help channel for hackers-beginners?" ,"I have been into not actually hacking, but social engineering" ,"I have stolen about 50 msn and yahoo accounts" ,"I'm in Moscow, Russia" ,"nobody can catch me" ,"well.. I never hacked Russians" ,"am I supposed to be frantic with terror and anxiety?" ,"LOL" ,"I've always found myself unequal to the intellectual pressure of programming" ] -- -- v used to be a bug in @eval. See the logs from April 9, 2006. -- notoriousV :: [[Char]] notoriousV = [show "\"\\\"\\\\\\\"\\\\\\" ,show "\"\\\"\\\\\\\"\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"\\\\\\\\\\" ,show "\"" ,show "\"#$%&'()*+,\"" ,"Exception: <>" ,"Just 'J'" ] -- -- A troll going by the names: -- -- proton-gun tbon shemale_magic HeyObjects parnassus gavino -- hypothesys octon ava-its-pssa mel-gibson java-or-no proton-gun -- protontorpedo deathsstar gavino99 proton-weapon thumper9 star-trekio -- differentActGetD howya-doin linux-fun boobhz booger perlIsBetter -- ramserver newlambder bublle-war ion-cannon thailand-fan blaastaar -- -- n=bo@pool-71-106-182-86.lsanca.dsl-w.verizon.net -- n=root@masqrd.la.teampcs.com -- n=gschuett@masqrd.la.teampcs.com -- n=gschuett@68.183.75.2 -- n=gschuett@208.201.11.51 -- n=gschuett@4.38.41.141 -- -- Trolled on and off for 10 months -- -- First appeared: -- 05.10.05:16:51:41 --- join: howya-doin (n=gschuett@208.201.11.51) joined #haskell -- Last appeared: -- 06.08.14:11:48 -- mode/#haskell [+b *!*n=bo@*.lsanca.dsl-w.verizon.net] by dons -- -- Reappeared a few weeks later from a new ip address. -- -- Reappeared: -- 15:52 [freenode] -- ion-cannon [n=tits@pool-71-106-175-237.lsanca.dsl-w.verizon.net] -- 15:52 [freenode] -- ircname : wilt chamberlain -- -- 19:55 -- mode/#haskell [+b *!*n=tits@*.lsanca.dsl-w.verizon.net] by -- dons -- -- Reappeared: 06.11.28 -- 10:34 [freenode] -- thailand-fan [n=bill@4.38.41.141] -- 10:34 [freenode] -- ircname : bill gates -- 10:34 [freenode] -- channels : ##linux #archlinux -- -- Reappeared: 06.12.08 -- blaastaar (n=gschuett@4.38.41.141) joined #haskell -- -- protontorpedo :: [String] protontorpedo = [ -- comparing haskell "wil haskell make mroe more money?", "wil I make mroe $$ than learning java or APL or smalltalk or plt scheme or ruby or perl or clisp?", "why is haskell bette than java? java has a shitload of frameworks. its xrazy", "is haskell doomed to be a mysql driver?", "and haskell is not a lisp. correct? holy shit then m learning haskell", "is haskell better than APL or perl or clisp?", "ok is haskell a type of lisp?", "hakell is not lisp or ml right?", "how deos haskell differ from ml or lisp?", "what makes haskell more fun than say clisp?", "here is the big one: is it mroe prctical than say python?", "so can haskell do what perl does but simpler?", "so haskell is new and improved c?", "how does haskell compare to j2ee?", "how does j2ee compare to haskell?", "can haskell do same stuff as J2EE but nicer?", "is haskell able to outdo perl or python for web?", "how is smalltalk different from haskell?", "how does haskell compare to say java?", "can haskell outdo java and jboss n stuff?", "how does haskell compare to c++?", "how is haskell different than java?", "so haskell is different from lisp?", "how abut vs APL", "what is haskell?", "is it nicer than APL?", "is haskell nicer than clisp?", "what does haskell do better than java perl or ruby?", "is it a form of lisp?", "why haskell over lisp?", "why haskell over say clsip or smalltalk?", "so why would one prefer haskell to say clisp or smalltalk?", "why haskell over say smalltalk", "is haskell more powerful than perl? or scheme?", "is haskella lisp?", "so haskells better than smalltalk and clsip?", -- more questions "what is the best absolute beginner utorial for haskell?", "Im wondering if there are uncharted business waters that haskell can enable, even if it is simply by not accepting norms", "so is haskell going to redo x windows and make it better?", "is haskell going to rewite linux and make it better?", "is there going to be a better dns server in haskell?", "can haskell be used to develop databases?", "evaluation seems ideal for banks who want to know global balances etc.", "what is so good about continuations/", "is it fun to program in haskell?", "paul graham said static typing and ML types fo lisp hurt exploratory progrmaming", "why did someone create haskell?", "can u build things fast in haskell?", "is functional progrmaming the same as object oriented?", "I read somewhere that large systms get confusing and haskell ends up a s a bunch of functions", "is haskell more powerful than any jedii?", "lazy makes macro not needed?", "wat is lazy evaluation?", "so this java guy I know says that java is the best when things get really complex and u need your apps do do real work", "how does haskell do with large systems?", "so with 100s of users adn different daabases haskell does fine?", "so if I learn haskell i can make cool interactive websites and get rich right?", "what echniques can be used to scael application in haskell?", "whera re the end user apps?", "why would u write a interpreter for perl in haskell?", "what Is writen in haskell that gets work done?", "so there is no database, monitoring system, web browser, webserver, or scheduling ssytem in haskell?", "is there a decent scheduler in haskell? how about a netwrok monitor?", "is functional ebtter than oo?", "cant u just have data in arrays and do operations using you prog lang?", "troll?", "cmon Im asking cool questions", "Im not a loser", "so given that how does haskell let one turn business calcualtion anreocrding of info into somethng liek a big spreadsheet?", " and is haskell ez to debug?", "am I cracked?", "hey guys can haskeel be used to produce fast webapps?", "does haskell sclae up to programming in the large?", "or does it become a mishmash of code?", "as u scale and complexity grows?", "so how do you use haskell tools to build large programs?", "whats a module?", "and haskell is general purpose?", "can I build a sales database with it?", "can I build something that lets laptop users sync contacts and client dta over the net?", "are you wealthy concultants?", "does haskel work one windows?", "is there an oo db in haskell?", "oleg?", "please expalin pure and lazy a little (im igonorant i know)?", "so haskell is free?", "how fast is the haskell web serve for dynamic content? siriam from scheme says the scheme one si FAT AS HEK", "how can haskell automate ftp?", "how do we automate ftp file transfers with haskell?", "what is a good way to handle the ftp transfer and reading of files to mysql?", "some dude called topmind says that oo is bs", "are objects kina just subroutines", "smalltalk is oo", "hu me/", "its bs dude", "that dude is selling u a book", "look at smalltalk. they invented oo proramming", "The things I dotn get about relatinal databases is that they take wrok to maintain", "I got some info b 4 about how lazy eval makes macros not needed please expand...", "waht is this D&D", "syntax ur runing my high", "on the haskell site they compare haskell to a spreadsheet", "how would haskell solve the following gnarley problem: many client distributed accross the usa, transfers must take palce in the form of file transfer, and data must be read from files, and recorded, then other partners who apply taxes to this data and then give abck new files with taxes aded, then last transers to 4th parties who get us paid for the phone calls that are the product", "where was haskell during th internet boom?", "no I cant read online for long my eyes get fuzzy", "help please", "treid comon lisp. ansi common lisp bok by graham. it sucked", "I dont know any programming yet at 33 dream of learning ti and gettign rich", "windows is validating itelf a lot during ownloads altely", "why haskell over smalltalk? I thought smalltalked rocked", "can haskell do data transfer from box to box over sockets?", "is ghc bad for learning?", "does huge or ghc have more stuff?", "is it hard to set up n ready my pc for programming?", -- statements "im such an asshole", "I hear from an essay by E raymod that perl is shitty for large projects", "ok so say I ftp files from some 50 remote servers now, and then read them inot mysql, then ftp back to an ohter 50 servers some info they read into thier informix db", "I personally emailed paul graham the lisp guy today after reading about python in E raymonds essay he metions ruby n python is u cant use lisp", "I had one guy tell me he was 16x as fast to develop something in smalltalk", "check otu squeak seems dope", "I have perl bok but saw haskell and am woner hey this is new and improved and seems powerful because MIT guy philip green says haskell adn lisp are only langs where u spend more tie thinking than coding", "paul graham said static typing is a problem for macros building", "I dont think tcl cn do that", "I am banned from like 6 rooms", "scheme, lisp, php, python, perl, tcl, al banned", "Im really only a bash person and even then Im tin", "i have a win xp box" ]